Maybe Scarlett had something there.......or, perhaps not.

I have not posted in a long time.  The truth is I have been so busy trying to make a living, I have had little time to do anything else. But as of yesterday, I retired from trying to make a living...now, I just plan to make time to live. 
Spring will dawn with the new day tomorrow (Sunday March 19, 2011). I plan to spring forward tomorrow as well. I spent Friday and Saturday making big changes in my  life. I spent Friday afternoon, evening, and Saturday morning in Memphis, Tennessee. Saturday afternoon finds me back in the tiny town of Pontotoc, Mississippi---with not too much on my  mind except what I will do with the rest of my life no matter how long or short it may be. 
All my tradition has gone down the tubes with the old me who was overworked, underpaid, and taken for granted....Chances are good there will be no more holidays, no more life as usual....I hated life as usual...I will now make life...unusual...for me anyway...You see, most other people have fun in life...somewhere along the line...now, it is my turn...sounds a wee bit on the way to selfish...I don't care.
I guess that is all I have to blog about today...but then tomorrow is another day and I may or may not think about tomorrow.

I AM SORRY...I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

The older we get....

 ONE
 Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed
it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up
the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code
so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you
know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for my things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
using the ATM 'thingy.'

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing
to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me.  As I took the key and manually unlocked the door,
I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!


FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!  (Possibly artificial intelligence--courtesy of L'oreal?)

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

(I must insert a comment at this point--I do not think life is tougher for stupid people....they just seem to float through life fairly unscathed....sometimes at the expense of others...sometimes to the amusement of others--sometimes both. I do occasionally feel sorry for people such as the ones in the examples above, because I think they must miss a great deal in life. But on the other hand, there are a very few times when I am almost envious of them because these kinds of people seem to be more content with their roles in life than I am with mine. Oh well, for now we will just be amused and not to overly analytical.....But, I will go one more step and dare to assess this entire tale as an example of how the world mutates and its inhabitants take on different levels of functionality as time rapidly moves on. OH, THE HUMANITY!!)


(I just received this in an e-mail from a friend of mine...I am sorry...I can't help feeling just a little bit superior to most of the human race....and I am blonde!!!!)
(Please note:  parenthetical comments, of course, were not included in the e-mail.  So, this will tell you a little more about the way my mind works....or not!  I have a distinct feeling I am not through posting on this particular subject...so be forewarned.......)

Okay, Autumn has actually fallen...and I love it.

The cooler weather brings out the better part of my nature. Not that I am not good natured....most of the time, but the oppressive heat of summer takes the better part of that good nature and hides it away a good deal. Having been born and raised in the Florida sunshine, one would think I fared well in the heat.  I have never, even as a young'un runnin' barefoot in the hot sand, tolerated the heat well. Likewise, one would think having been born on a glorious July morning...I would like the summers...but, alas, I do not.

I think also, the cooler weather signals the onset of holiday time...and, that makes me a little nostalgic and eager to experience the special times.  From Halloween through the first of the new year, I am a little more sentimental and sometimes even a little bit giddy as the little girl in me, on some level, still awaits the wonder and magic of Christmas.  Thanksgiving...I have much for which to be grateful...but mostly, I believe, I am grateful that Christmas is nearly here. 

Gratitude encompasses much of my world all of the time. My children and grandchildren top the list. My family in general--I suppose make the two top spaces...at least. God has given me much, and I am not unaware that He is my benefactor. When I watch the news, take a peek at many of the world situations, and see how many people must live due to oppressive governments, poverty, the economy in our own country, I know I have much for which to be thankful. When I see the want...of sustenance, shelter, companionship...I know I have an abundance of such commodies, and I am acutely aware of how very blessed I am.

The cooler autumn nights are perfect for turning off the air conditioner and saving money...but mostly for sleeping with the windows open and breathing in nature's wonderful breezes. There is much to be said for snuggling down in warm linens with a quilt on top of you.  The rest is deeper, the sleep much more gratifying, and mere act is so nurturing to our spirits and our bodies...of course it is....try it.

Even the sunshine is nicer. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my face when buffered by the cooler surface temperatures is another way to know that God is in His heaven and smiles down upon His children.

Have you ever wondered what God does all day?  Well, neither have I.  I do think, though, He sometimes wears an Izod shirt with a big "G" embroidered on the upper left chest....Well, you know for "God."  Well, if I were God, I would be glad to let everyone know....Now, I can actually claim to be a domestic "Goddess," but somehow the paths are very different....God's "G" would be green...Why?  I don't know....I am sure my "G" would be lavender or blue...Why?  Because it can be. Now that we have that out of the way.....

I know I told you in a previous blog what I plan to do for Christmas this year...and I am looking forward to it. A few days away from work in a mountain hideaway...far from the maddening crowd, will work wonders for my attitude, my physical body, and, I am sure, my creativity...I'll get back to you on that.

I would tell you I would be comfortable "roughing it " in that mountain cabin...but I would be lying...My idea of  "roughing it"  would be no microwave and a black and white T.V.  I like to camp out...but I would like to camp out in Maui....Marriott........yep, that would be a real shame, wouldn't it?  Well, someone has to keep Marriott in the black...why not me?!  No chopping wood, no outdoor bathroom facilities, no sleeping in a sleeping bag or tent...I want a cabin...yes...but, I was thinking of a nice split level with large decks and open rooms, glass front to take in the view, large screen T.V., fireplace supplied with split wood, stocked refrigerator...etc..located not too far from a really nice restaurant. Hey, don't laugh...we all have our crosses to bear....

I have been awake and working since about 3:30 A.M. it is now after seven...time to get started for the day. But then I did go to bed early....But it will be another day in paradise....trying to make a living...and breathing in the wonderful Autumn air!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...but he just cracks me up!

I have tried a time or two to add to my blog page and so far, anything decent has totally eluded my efforts. Tonight, I have time and the energy...but do I have the mental wherewith all to put anything on my blog? I have lolly gagged a great deal of today so I am not tired enough to go to bed. I have been moving for two weeks and my body begged for relief...I got some today...relief that is.

I feel as if I have fallen through the looking glass....perhaps not the one from Lewis Carroll's (of Alice in Wonderland fame) imagination...more one of Dante's fame...yeah, more inferno-like--especially with the heat we have suffered the past couple of weeks. I hate to move. I suppose Mississippi is as good as anywhere else to live, it is just the moving and getting straightened out that is the hellish part.

I do not live very far from the childhood home of Elvis Presley....oh yeah, big whoop! Lots of factories and industry dealing with the furniture and auto industry here. Toyota is building a place outside Tupelo that is supposed to give quite a boost to the local economy---but you know where Tupelo is, do you not?  It is right next to Onepelo....you know, where José and Jos-B live (okay, go ahead say it out loud....Hose A and Hose B--ha-ha made you say it anyway!) But the location should be great for business.

I found a lovely home on three acres of property....in Pontotoc....literally translated from the the Hecauwee (pronounced: heck-au'-wee) Indian language meaning...a place where beautiful women go to live.....You know that tribe--they broke away from the Cree Indians many years ago and started their own tribe when their illustrious leader lead a large war and hunting party out and got lost....they say he stood from the upper side of a tall hill in Mississippi and putting his hand over his brow to block out the sun's glare looked into the distance and said..."Hey, where the 'Heck are we?'" Thus, the name of the tribe. Remaining in a lost state for several weeks, the chief finally authorized a raiding party to bring women in from neighboring tribes to start their own civilization and colony....While many of the women were of dubious repute and many were not of traditional native American heritage or descent, the chief of the lost tribe was heard to say,“No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.” Not that anyone really understood the meaning behind it...but Lewis Carroll (nee: Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) used it in his writing regarding Alice.

Well that may be my brain in overload writing there...but, I can't help but wonder as I read Lewis Carroll if, in fact, he too may have taken a drag or two from that hookah that he wrote about the Blue Caterpillar smoking. Or, perhaps he was just as mad as a hatter on his good days....but he wrote and wrote more than 2,500 books and grinned like a Cheshire Cat all the way to the bank!

Okay, this blog just gets more and more curious or "curiouser and curiouser" so perhaps, I should go back through that looking glass but, "I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then." ("by Alice"...)

Some days life is really tough...then I get out of bed...

Everyone has been after me to add to my blog...I have been incredibly busy. I know that is no excuse, however, I shall use it any way. I have also been incredibly tired and and quite distracted trying to take care of a brother who is very ill.  I am so saddened with how I have failed this man. He needs to be nurtured and nursed back to health both physically and emotionally....but he doesn't know how to let that happen. So whatz a woman to do?

I have decided most definitely that getting old really stinks...be not deceived..."senior cokes," "Senior movie fares," and other "Senior discounts" just don't make up for not being young any more. I've decided I probably will no longer touch up my graying hair, I do not care that my face is wrinkled, and that spreading middle only concerns me because of my propensity to Type II Diabetes and my blood sugar plays games with me. I just want my back to be straighter in the mornings and my knees not to hurt when I over exert myself for too long.

Have I ever told you my ambition is to be a wealthy novelist?  I no longer care about being a novelist....just novel...and wealthy. My brother tells me I talk like "Hemingway on Crack"--whatever that means....sometimes he refers to me as "Barbara Walters on crack"...whatever that means. Actually, I believe I have reached the "purple stage" in my life...Yeah, you got it...purple....Surely you have read Jenny Joseph's "When I Am An Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple---So--read it again:

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

and run my stick along the public railings

and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

and pick the flowers in other people's gardens

and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

and eat three pounds of sausages at a go

or only bread and pickles for a week

and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

and pay our rent and not swear in the street

and set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

What are satin candles?  I do not believe I have ever heard of them prior to having read this poem. 

Well, this old woman is in dire need of retiring to her bed chamber and to her bed. But no matter, I am fairly certain the sun will come up tomorrow...dang it all....I probably should move to Alaska so I could have some 6 month nights...ahhh, extended slumber. 

Do you know where the expression "Three Dog Night" originated? You probably do...as hot as it has been the past few days, I could use a couple of three dog nights...For anyone who doesn't know the "dog night" origin...it is an expression in the cold, cold north where people travel by sled and dog....depending on how cold the nights were depended on how many dogs you needed to sleep with you  to keep you warm....so it it took 3 dogs...that night was considered a "Three Dog Night"...Yep, right up there with a five-cow wife...but that will wait for another time. My dogs are barking, my head hurts, my back is pleading for relief, and my bed beckons me onward....Tomorrow is another day...and I shall think about all that tomorrow...

To Dream a dream....or if hogs could ride Harleys...

I had a dream a couple of nights ago about a city of which I have never heard. I had no idea where it was, or that it was, until I looked it up on Google Maps. I have no idea why I dreamed of it, but I am going this weekend to see what is there. I hope to find an answer to the mystery as to why I would dream of it. I will let you know how it turns out.

I, normally, do not set a lot of store in dreams, but once in a while I have to give some credence to my night visions. They sometimes tell me things I need to know.  But more often than not, the only thing conveyed in my dreams is a sense of wonder as to why such things would come into my mind...let me give you a for instance (and if anyone is adept in interpretation of dreams...feel free to let me know). I dreamed last night of a man who appeared to have no teeth...but a wide-mouth grin revealed he had one molar--far back, top, left side. (?) Some years ago, I dreamed my cat had puppies. (?) I dreamed I gave birth to a child that resembled Gary Coleman...when I questioned if I had been given the right baby, the newborn child looked up at me and said, "What you talkin' 'bout Mama?" (That could be just too much TV!!) The most unusual dream I ever had was several years ago; it remains vivid in my memory.


In the dream, I lived in a realm where the superior..or ruling entity was Hogs...as of the swine variety...yep, they all rode Harley Davidson motorcycles...they herded human beings and set very strict rules of behavior for the people still living free (as in not penned up)...such as..humans were not allowed to have a Christmas Tree, they were not allowed to go in certain places in the town...which, of course, lead to a underground of movement and secrets. Every so often a few humans were rounded up and put into a sty..or pen....where they walked about on hands and knees and were fed from a moving conveyor belt. On the belt would be what appeared to be lettuce and other greens chopped like salad...it was quite palatable...except...there were little red pieces mixed in with the greenery and if you ate one of the red things you died....and if you refused to eat you were killed. Well, thanks to a snitch, I got caught trying to smuggle a Christmas tree into my home and was put into the pen....I was trying to eat and not consume a red morsel when I awoke with a fog in my brain...oh, did I mention the Hogs also wore leather jackets?  Now, what was that all about?

Some of my dreams make absolute sense, or, I can at least tie them back to something on my mind, or something that happened during the day...but hogs on Harleys...can't imagine...

My day dreams aren't quite so bizarre...but they all start out with "some day...."  I think "some day" is a euphemism for "never," but we all gotta have a dream. Some day I will go to Hawaii, some day I will get to retire, some day I will be thin again, some day I will get to do what I want to do...not what I have to do!--speaking of dreaming the impossible dream...

For today, however, I am planning to follow my dream into the unknown....let's see...will I find genealogical records heretofore not available? Perhaps a pot of gold or a tract of land waiting for me to claim it? Oh, a long lost (never known) benefactor awaits to whisk me away to my inherited castle, in Hawaii, where I can retire and do all the things I want to do. I would have a personal trainer who would transform me in to the fair lady I would like to become...far away from the cold night air, with one enormous chair and lots of chocolate for me to eat....wouldn't it be lovely?

Okay, it is time to come back to earth again--work beckons...drat!  Just when things were starting to look up!

These are a few of my favorite things...

One of my favorite things to do on a Saturday afternoon is tune in to a James Stewart, Humphrey Bogart, or William Powell oldie or even a Clark Cable goldie  as long as they do not get too "sappy."

Don't misunderstand, I like love as well as the next person as long as the next person doesn't like really sappy love scenes (teary goodbye speeches, etc) with mushy, unrealistic, ridiculous dialogue. Most movie watchers enjoy a good heart tug, but there must be some limits.

The African Queen, with Humphrey Bogart (Charlie Alnut) and Katherine Hepburn (Rose Sayer) ( love Katherine), is among my favorites because they had a very special way of falling in love and being absolutely offended by each other at the same time--at least at first. Too, this movie confirms anything is possible if you are stranded on a river with someone long enough and, that even mud, leeches, and Nazi Legions can't kill the real thing! How's that for romance?

Scarlett O'Hara, in Gone With The Wind, (and for all you really young and tuned out people, this is not the story of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina hit....no matter what people say) with her antebellum charms and her near-harlot ways could have learned a couple of things from the staunch missionary, Rosie.

Of course, Jimmy Stewart seemed quite adept in the heart-string tuggers. I suppose everyone has seen It's a 
Wonderful Life starring Jimmy with Donna Reed. While I can appreciate the intent of the message and while I watch it at least once every yuletide season, it is so "socially moralizing," with such redeeming value, I prefer Stewart in Zotz, or Harvey, or The Cheyenne Social Club.  Now, nobody get your dander up...I do like "socially moralizing" movies...it is just after you have watched it 3,000 times, you can't help but to root for the character to get on with his life and leave town like he always wanted to do...at least once. THEN, he can come back and save humanity!

I have never been a real big fan of westerns, not even John Wayne, but there are a few that fall in that category I find particularly entertaining. But, in most cases I'd rather get my early-American exposure from the likes of Oklahoma, Paint Your Wagon, (I know a lot of LDS people do not care for this movie...and it does kind of scrap your sensitivity...but it is only a movie...and we know better) or The Unsinkable Molly Brown.  Wyatt Earp and Jesse James hold little appeal for me as they were both outlaws...Earp just got into law enforcement...made a good cover and James held truer to his outlaw ways. If I am going to watch historical events, I would prefer they be real life not fiction.

Since war is beyond my comprehension, war movies hold no appeal for me at all and gutsy, muscle-bound heroes with extremely limited vocabularies, which have erupted at the box office in the past several years, only reinforce my Saturday afternoon fondness for Jimmy, Bogie, or even Cagney or Astaire.  Actually if faced with having to choose among, Stallone, Schwarzenegger or Francis the talking mule....well, at least Francis talked in whole sentences....

Catastrophic movies, i.e. Towering Inferno, Volcano, Airport, The Poseidon Adventure, et al, rate very low as entertainment, but the most catastrophic thing on celluloid has to be slapstick comedy!  I find it quite frustrating! Just tell me what is funny about three ugly men poking eyes, slapping faces, and smacking each other in the head. Falling down or being hit with a board is not funny....that is why I deplore America's Funniest Home Videos! But lest I should offend those of you who enjoy the slap-stick stuff...that's all I got to say about that---yes, I did love Forrest Gump.  Because life is indeed like a box of chocolates......

The last time I went to see a science fiction movie, it promised to "go where no man had gone before."  It turned out to be a documentary on Ellen Degeneris' bedroom. Today's movies just are not the same as my oldies and goldies!

Give me a good mystery or thriller, and I am set. I'm disappointed, however, if I can figure out "who dunnit" in the first 10 minutes of the movie. I would like to be able to at least be kept guessing until the opening credits are over.

Hitchcock was indeed a master of mayhem and macabre. Sometimes his movies worked as a cardiovascular exercise as the heart did tend to speed up at times while watching some of his work. As a teenager, I liked horror flicks, but today's veg-a-matic movies...i.e. Scream, Saw, etc... are absolute turn-offs. I like a discernible plot and these body-to-body contacts are ridiculous. Ah, give me "Sound of Music"  that is as bad as I want to get.


Today's multi-million dollar extravaganzas tend to pale in comparison with the older productions.

Suppose Gone With The Wind had been made present day rather than in the '30s---Mammy originally played by Hattie McDaniel, would be, no doubt cast as a wise-crackin', head-knocking, independent woman about town, who only works nine to five with Thursday and Sunday off. She would have a hollowed out rolling pin with a fillet knife hidden inside, a .380 semi-automatic nestled in her cleavage, and poison dart pen in her hair do! She would be played by Queen Latifah--or perhaps Mo'Nique.

Prissy, played by a tiny-voiced Butterfly McQueen as a simple-minded, sniveling girl in the '30s version, would be played by Whoopi Goldberg (only because she would be so good at it...Loved her in The Color Purple) responding to Scarlett's plea for help for Melanie Wilkes with "Girl, you know I don't do windows, I don't iron sheets, and I DON"T do  no babies!  My manicure, you know."

Scarlett O'Hara would be played by Megan Fox or maybe Fergie, Taylor Swift would make an excellent Miss Melanie while Brad Pitt would do an outstanding job as the notorious Rhett Butler. The fine featured Ashley Wilkes would without a doubt bring out the best in Chase Crawford...something should...and Father O'Hara would be wonderfully portrayed by Russell Crowe!  Oh, what images we can conjure!

It would more aptly be named "Scarlett Fiddles Around While Atlanta Burns."  Atlanta, of course, would be played by Jorge Garcia...I really like him...I remember when he did a recurring character part on the TV series Becker.

Our values have changed; our senses are being dulled by the entertainment we choose. Suggestive is no longer pertinent; everything must be explicit. The trend in movies, however, seems to be the same trend in society...all down hill...and, that is really too bad.


But Rhett, wherever shall we go and whatever shall we do? .....