I AM SORRY...I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

The older we get....

 ONE
 Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed
it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up
the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code
so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you
know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for my things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
using the ATM 'thingy.'

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing
to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me.  As I took the key and manually unlocked the door,
I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!


FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!  (Possibly artificial intelligence--courtesy of L'oreal?)

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

(I must insert a comment at this point--I do not think life is tougher for stupid people....they just seem to float through life fairly unscathed....sometimes at the expense of others...sometimes to the amusement of others--sometimes both. I do occasionally feel sorry for people such as the ones in the examples above, because I think they must miss a great deal in life. But on the other hand, there are a very few times when I am almost envious of them because these kinds of people seem to be more content with their roles in life than I am with mine. Oh well, for now we will just be amused and not to overly analytical.....But, I will go one more step and dare to assess this entire tale as an example of how the world mutates and its inhabitants take on different levels of functionality as time rapidly moves on. OH, THE HUMANITY!!)


(I just received this in an e-mail from a friend of mine...I am sorry...I can't help feeling just a little bit superior to most of the human race....and I am blonde!!!!)
(Please note:  parenthetical comments, of course, were not included in the e-mail.  So, this will tell you a little more about the way my mind works....or not!  I have a distinct feeling I am not through posting on this particular subject...so be forewarned.......)